


The Great Escape

by coolchulainn



Category: Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, Servant Swap
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2015-01-20
Packaged: 2018-03-04 09:40:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3063050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coolchulainn/pseuds/coolchulainn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lancer finds himself a new Master. Set in UBW route but obviously takes a different direction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. gee rin how come the grail lets you have two servants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lancer tries to get Caster to break his contract so he can find a better Master

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my first time writing fic in years and honestly I'm really proud of myself rn

The long stairs at the entrance of Ryuudo Temple were somewhat infamous around the area for both the beauty of the surroundings and how ridiculously long they were, making visits to the temple a lot more difficult than they had to be – assuming you were just a human. For the blue-clad Servant headed for the gates at the top they were no more trouble than your average escalator. There was a witch living in the temple, and he’d recently discovered she had just the trick he needed.

“Who goes there?”

Lancer narrowly dodged the long blade aiming for his neck, he bounced down the stairs and slid to a halt on one of the broader steps. Of course, he’d almost forgotten about the gatekeeper. The guy was hard to notice after all. Assassin swung his sword again, Lancer quickly drew his spear and caught the blade in the jagged edges of his spearhead.

“Relax, I’m not here to fight this time.”

“Just a nightly temple visit then?” Assassin asked. “You do seem the type for that, I suppose. I would tell you to come back during the day, but unfortunately I doubt the old hag would stand for it.” He pulled his sword free and held it lowered by his side, a sign that the cease-fire had been accepted.

“On second thought, I think would like it if you returned during the day. I’d like to see how she’ll try to handle a servant walking in her territory in broad daylight, with countless witnesses around. That would undoubtedly be a great sight!” He laughed, amused by the idea of situations that would piss off his Master. That’s one thing they had in common at least.

“Maybe another time. I kind of need to negotiate with her and I don’t think she’ll be willing to do anything if she’s not in control of the situation.”

“Negotiate? From our previous battle I wouldn’t have taken you to be the kind to work with a witch. Well, I suppose you’re right about the second part though.”

“Yeah. So. I’m gonna need you to let me pass.”

“I’m afraid I cannot do that.”

Great.

“You see, if I let you pass and for whatever reason your conversation displeases her she will definitely take her anger out on me. Spilling my organs seems to be a favourite of hers so you’ll understand that I would rather avoid that fate if it can be helped.”

“That’s. Understandable, yeah. I really gotta talk to her though, and  _something_  tells me she’s not gonna come out herself so that leaves only one option really.”

“Very well, I see your point. You’ll have to leave your spear at the gate though.”

“What the f-”

The words escaped him before he even realized. Why the  _fuck_  would he leave his weapon, his  _Noble Phantasm_ , at the gate while negotiating with another Servant? He might as well strip naked while he’s at it.

“It is the absolute stupidest thing you could possibly do, of course, and that’s precisely why you would do it. It’ll confuse her. She’ll leave you alive long enough to at the very least figure out what you want so desperately that you’d leave you spear behind. Besides, it will add more weight to your argument. Without your weapon there is nothing you can do but talk.”  _And hopefully she’ll go easy on me if she gets angry anyway_. The words didn’t need to be spoken for both of them to understand.

He was right, Lancer had to admit. Unfortunately. It really was too bad that he was desperate and stupid enough to actually do it. He stuck his spear in the ground between the tiles, right in the middle of the gate, impossible to miss.

“I assume you won’t stop me if I run?”

Assassin didn’t respond for a few seconds, too surprised that Lancer really did just leave his weapon. He shook his head to collect himself.

“Of course. My only task is to ward off intruders, nobody has ever mentioned anything about those trying to escape.”

The wide open temple grounds were almost suffocating after the confined spaces of the stairs. A thin fog spread out over the courtyard, moving slowly even though there was no wind that night. Mana collected from countless people.

“Show yourself, Caster!”

A flock of purple butterflies gathered some distance in front of him, and his fingers instinctively reached for the spear he’d left behind. There she was alright, the exact same figure that he’d spied on earlier that week when he happened to come across her fight with those kids. He should probably consider himself lucky that he knew the runes to identify magic, or he wouldn’t even know about the thing he was here for. Caster’s hood was up like usual, hiding her face and making her seem taller than she was. She really did like to be in control of everything, huh. What a troublesome woman.

"What does Sasaki think he’s doing?” she muttered, probably louder than intended. Lancer could hear it clearly despite the distance between them.

“I’m here for negotiations only.” he responded, also a little louder than intended. He was pretty sure he was keeping it together on the outside, but being in enemy territory without his weapon made him more nervous than he’d been at any point in this war. “That’s why he decided to let me pass. I left my Noble Phantasm at the gate as a sign of goodwill.”

Caster stared at him for a minute or so, at least that’s what he assumed. There was no way to tell with the way that hood covered her face, and the mana fog seemed to swirl up around her body, hiding her even more. He thought about how long it would take him to sprint towards the gate and figured it would be longer than she would need to cast a spell to stop him.

“Very well, I will hear you out. Speak your mind, Lancer.”

He scraped his throat. Should he throw in some flattery? No, that’d be too obvious. Better just get straight to the point, that’s what he did best anyway.

“I need you to break the contract with my Master.”

The Witch shifted under her cloak. Was she surprised? Amused? Damn, this would be so much easier if she didn’t hide under that shapeless thing. He’s always hated underhand tactics like these, and so much as talking to someone who thrived off them like this was enough to make him angry.

“Look, it’s really quite simple. I hate my current Master and would like nothing more than to separate his head from his body but unfortunately I’m under several command spells to not do that. Now, I very conveniently happen to know that you have a lil trick up your sleeve that lets you break magic contracts. The deal is that you cut the contract and in return I won’t attack you even if I find a new Master that orders me to.”

Caster laughed, a rather disgusting sound that would be unnerving if he wasn’t completely on edge already. It echoed across the grounds and made the fog stir. “And if you don’t find a Master? What will you do then, dog?”

His mouth twitched involuntarily at the last word. This woman has eyes all over Fuyuki, of course she’d know exactly who he is and what buttons to press. She was just toying with him now, enjoying the control she had over him. All he could do was swallow the insult and keep talking.

“I’m a Lancer class, without a Master I’ll have until the next night at most. It’s a bet, really, except I’m the one gambling with my life while there’s nothing to lose for you except the potential for some cheap entertainment. Must be boring watching the city all day, right? I’m offering you a little show because I want to get away from a guy I hate pretty damn desperately.”

She laughed again, the echoes sent a shiver down his body and he felt himself reaching for his spear again.

“You have an interesting offer, Lancer. However, how will I know you won’t break your word and attack me after all? I see no reason to break the leash your current Master has put on you.”

“Oh come on man, I’m Cu Chulainn! Breaking my word that one time is literally what got me killed!” he snapped. This whole negotiating business was pissing him off, and people like her always had to make everything so unnecessarily complicated. “You know what, you know fucking what, I’ll swear a geas, right now. I, Cu Chulainn, Knight of the Red Branch and Servant Lancer in the fifth Holy Grail War, hereby swear-”

He carved a series of runes in the gravel with his heel, drawing the surrounding fog towards them.

“-that on the condition that Servant Caster uses her Noble Phantasm to break my contract with Kotomine Kirei, I will not attack her even if my new Master orders me to for the duration of this Holy Grail War. The penalty for breaking this oath-”

Caster watched him with interest as he continued to write his runes with practised precision. Impressed that he’d actually do it probably, or maybe with the surprising quality of his magecraft? Lancers weren’t known for their skills as magi, but this wasn’t exactly the first time he’d done this either.

“-will be death. The geas won’t activate until the condition is met, so breaking the contract won’t cancel the geas too.”

The runes glowed softly in the moonlight to confirm his words. No backing out now – not that he’d intended to in the first place. He glared at Caster, trying to meet her eyes, daring her to accept. In his anger he’d almost forgotten that all he had going for him here were his average magic resistance and the ability to run away.

“You are an interesting man. I understand why people would enjoy your legends.” Lancer still couldn’t see her face, but she sounded amused. Her cloak shifted again and she revealed a strange dagger with a crooked, multicoloured blade, the same one he saw her pull out on Saber before. “I think I’ll humour you for a while.”

In an instant she crossed the distance between them, firmly planting the dagger in his chest. Its edges were blunt, he could feel it used mana rather than its point to pierce his skin. Sparks of magecraft escaped from the wound, illuminating their faces and finally allowing him to look Caster in the eye. Her face was younger than he’d expected from someone so bitter.

Any further thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of every nerve being violently ripped out of his body. He screamed and jumped back on instinct, wildly pushing the dagger away from him. The contract was broken the moment that thing cut him, everything after was Caster being up to something.

“You- How can you still move!?”

“Ansuz!”

The rune was sloppy and poorly aimed, it grazed Caster’s shoulder and only managed to singe her cloak. He hurriedly constructed another one and threw it in her direction as he carved a series of speed runes with his heel, it caught her hood and burst into flames upon contact. Caster extinguished them with a wave of her hand and spread her arms, her cloak stretched itself out into disfigured wings and she flew up, drawing her staff out of thin air.

Lancer kicked the ground, busting off towards the gate with a speed that was unnatural even for his agility rank. Several tiles dislodged as he jerked Gae Bolg from the ground and continued to trip and fall down the stairs more than anything. The presence behind him faded once he reached the bottom and he could faintly hear yelling from the top of the stairs, followed by a small explosion. Now that he’d made his escape Caster probably decided it’d be easier to take her anger out on Assassin instead. He might have to apologise for that if they ever saw each other again.

Somehow he found himself walking the streets of Miyama, or rather it wasn’t until he’d reached the shopping district that he was able to slow down. The initial Battle Continuation-fuelled rush of escaping the temple had faded and he felt exhausted after using so many runes without an external mana pool to back them up. He still had about 10 hours left, provided he didn’t have to fight anyone.

“I really should’ve thought this out better huh.” he sighed, looking at the shop windows. How was he supposed to find a new Master on time? This wasn’t exactly something you could just ask a random stranger for – well technically you could, in fact every Servant and their mom seemed to be doing it, but he’d rather not involve someone who’d be completely unprepared. Putting your life on the line wasn’t for everyone, and besides, if he picked wrong he’d be stuck with someone he didn’t like again.

The ungodly sound of his stomach growling derailed his train of thought. Of course, now that he lacked a proper mana supply he’d get hungry like everyone else, especially after pulling that stunt earlier tonight. He glanced over at the shop across the street, a small and messy supermarket that offered a far wider range of items than your average supermarket would, but seemed to mostly specialise in canned foods . They wouldn’t miss a can or two right? He turned to spirit form and passed through the window without setting off any alarms. None of the cans looked particularly tasty, but now that he noticed how damn hungry he was he’d take anything really.

“You know.” he thought out loud, breaking open a can of beef on the point of his spear and using his hands to shove its contents into his mouth. “I could probably get one of those kids to contract me. They seem reasonable. And that lil Tohsaka girl is a top tier magus.” He emptied the can and threw it aside, hitting a shelf.

“I mean, she’s a fast thinker right? She really surprised me back there on the school roof, that was a good move. And I’m pretty sure Kirei hates her so that’s a bonus. Ha, imagine his face once he finds out I’m on Tohsaka’s side!” The shelf slowly leaned over and a football rolled off the top and hit his head. He jumped up just in time to catch the rack, a single brightly coloured shirt fell out and landed on his face. It was the most vile piece of clothing he’d ever seen, so he figured he might as well take it.

-

“Rin.”

“Hm?”

“Lancer is at the door right now.”

Rin slammed down her teacup and jumped up, almost tripping over herself. “Is this an attack? Is there anyone with him? What’s the situation?”

Archer looked out the window. “It’s just him, I can’t sense anyone else. Also…”

“Also what? I need to know everything, Archer!”

“He’s wearing the most disgusting hawaii shirt I have seen in my entire life.”

Rin fell silent. How was anyone supposed to respond to this? She decided to just join Archer at the window. Sure enough, Lancer was standing on the doorstep, visibly nervous and dressed in a shirt that was an assault on the eyes, as well as what seemed to be leather pants. He collected himself as they were watching and pressed the doorbell. The sound rang clearly throughout the mansion. Archer looked at Rin for instructions.

“Get on the roof and cover me if things turn ugly. I’m going to answer the door and see what he wants. He can’t possibly be stupid enough to try attacking my stronghold by himself dressed in that.” She quickly walked towards the front door and grabbed a handful of jewels just in case.

“Hey Tohsaka, long time no see!” Lancer grinned as she opened the door a crack.

“What do you want.”

“Yes, well, I’m in a bit of trouble and I kind of need your help you see, I’m without a Master at the moment and I’ve got about 8 hours left to find a new one and honestly you’re the only person I can think of who wouldn’t mind getting dragged into this whole holy grail war business since you’re like, already in and all that.” He scratched his neck. “No hard feelings about trying to kill you last time right? I mean that was just business.”

Rin hid her face behind the door. What the hell was this supposed to mean? Who the hell did he think he was, just walking up to her house and asking for something that ridiculous?

 _So? What does he want?_ Archer asked, talking directly to her mind.

_Something outrageous. Stay put and don’t take your eyes off him._

It didn’t seem to be a trick, she couldn’t sense any hostility from him and during their previous encounter he’d made it clear enough that he disliked trickery. Still, she couldn’t just take this at face value – it was too convenient to be true. She muttered a short spell, infusing the jewels in her fist with mana, and opened the door a little further. If what he told her next was a lie, her gems would know.

“What happened?” she asked, less harshly this time. It’d be a shame if he left before she figured out the details.

“Well, the short version is that my ex-Master is a fucking asshole that broke every rule he was supposed to hold up and had a hobby of humiliating me so I broke the contract. There’s more to the story but that’s for another time really, right now I would just really appreciate it if I found a new person to contract with so I can go stab Kirei in the dick.”

Rin’s eyes narrowed and she closed the door a little again. “What does Kirei have to do with this?”

“Hm? He’s my Master of course. Ex-Master.”

“Kirei has a Servant?!” It was out of her mouth before she knew it.

“Had. Like I said, he’s a dick and I only did what he told me to because he has like a bazillion command spells from being the overseer. Asshole didn’t even summon me, he stole me from my real Master.”

“I see…” Rin closed her eyes, deep in thought. The jewels in her hand hadn’t reacted whatsoever, so she had no choice but to believe him. Honestly, now that she gave it two seconds thought it didn’t surprise her at all that Kirei would pull a move like that. It felt kind of good to have some confirmation that spending hours upon hours thinking about how she might kill him if it ever came to it wasn’t for nothing.

_Archer, is his magic signature any different from last time?_

_It’s weaker compared to that night, but not significantly. Fighting him one on one will still be difficult, and his Protection from Arrows is the same as before._

_I wasn’t asking for battle information._

He shrugged so hard she could tell through their telepathic bond.

_Suit yourself._

She sighed and opened her eyes only to be faced with Lancer’s expectant stare. His eyes were wide with anticipation and he was leaning forward a little, if he had a tail it would definitely be wagging right now. His title of ‘the hound of Ulster’ was fitting in more than one way, it seemed. With the way everything was written clear as day on his face she couldn’t help but be reminded of someone-

Dammit, she’s always been too softhearted.

“Oh, fine, FINE! Come in, we’ll contract in my workshop to make sure nothing goes wrong.” She opened the door fully to let him in. Lancer’s face lit up with pure relief, he spread his arms and would have definitely hugged her right there if he hadn’t been interrupted by a very disgruntled Archer appearing in the space between them.

“Rin!” He looked even more annoyed than back when she told him to clean up the living room. “Do you honestly think letting an enemy Servant in your house is a good idea?”

“Right now he’s not an enemy Servant, Archer. In fact, once we’ve established a new contract he will be my Servant. Are you suggesting I should pass up on the opportunity to have two Servants on my side?” She placed her hands on her hips, daring him to object.

“I- Of course not.” Archer crossed his arms and leaned against the wall in protest. Lancer used the opportunity to join Rin on her side of the hallway. “I’m simply concerned about how you intend to provide the mana for two Servants at once.

“Since you’re an Archer class your mana consumption is lower than that of the average Servant. And besides, I’m a top level magus. Unless you two use your Noble Phantasms at the same time I’m pretty sure I’ll be fine.”

“Actually, I can use my Noble Phantasm multiple times without external backup.” Lancer chimed in. “Up to like seven times probably, it’s really cost effective.”

“See? There’s no problem whatsoever.” Rin walked off towards the basement, waving at Lancer to follow, which he did right away.

“I really don’t think this is a good idea, Master.”

She turned around, a devious smile on her face. “Oh, don’t go telling me you’re jealous. Are you jealous that I’d contract another Servant?”

Archer huffed and looked away.

“Don’t be ridiculous.”


	2. family dinner simulator 2004

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lancer's life would honestly be so much easier if everyone would just fucking chill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> where did a second chapter come from who did this. 
> 
> I didn't think I'd write more but I did? let's see how far I can take this lmao

“Have you ever flown a plane? I can't believe this era has machines that let you fly, back in my time that was something for gods and now everyone and their mom does it.”

“Does that bother you?”

“Are you kidding me? Of course not, it's amazing! So what's your favourite food? I've seen a lot of different dishes around but I haven't actually tried anything good yet.”

Lancer had been asking questions like that ever since the three of them left the house. The sun was barely up and after being awake since the previous morning it was starting to get on Rin's nerves, but at the same time she couldn't bring herself to shut down his enthusiasm about the modern age. Even with the knowledge the grail should have given him it must be something completely different to actually experience it.

“I tend to prefer Chinese dishes, though that's partially because I'm better at cooking those.”

“Hmm, I see.” He paused a bit. “I have no idea what the Chinese kitchen is like. Think you could cook me something to try it out sometime?”

“Definitely not.”

“Ha, alright. I'll just go to a restaurant then.”

“Are you aware that this is a war?” She shot a glare in what she assumed was his direction – it was hard to tell with two invisible Servants around.

“Oh come on, just because it's a war doesn't mean I can't take the time to enjoy myself a bit. I'm from like 2000 years ago on the other side of the planet, you can't possibly expect me to not be excited about that.”

“I suppose.”

They walked in silence for a while. The low sunlight stung her eyes and it made her irrationally angry. Contracting with another Servant had turned out to be more complicated than she'd expected, and the extra strain of having to sustain Lancer made her feel like she just had a two hour workout. She'd get used to it in time, no doubt – she got used to Archer too after all – but until then she was resigned to being tired and grumpy. Mornings weren't any good no matter whether she slept or not.

“It's nice being able to walk around in daylight for a change though. Running around all night isn't good for a person even if they're technically dead.”

“You seem to be in a good mood.”

Lancer laughed heartily. “Of course I am, my entire situation improved about tenfold last night! Anyway, I know the contract took a long time and all but I'm surprised you haven't asked for any details about last night yet, that doesn't seem like you.”

“I'll have you explain the rest later today, it's easier for everyone if you only have to tell everything once. That way everyone hears the same story.”

“Ah, that makes sense. I suppose we're heading for that ginger kid's house then – what's his name again?”

“Emiya Shirou” Archer answered bitterly, as if he was angry that he had to say the name at all – then why say it in the first place? It was the first thing he'd said since they left the mansion.

“Ah, good to hear you're still here too. You've been so quiet all this time I thought you'd left.”

“I see no need for small talk.”

“Alright, suit yourself. Won't stop me from talking. Anyway, this Shirou, what's he like? He seems like a nice kid from a distance. I tried to kill him twice, do you think he'll hold it against me?”

“You can find that out yourself in a bit, we're here.”

Rin went through the gates of a large japanese-style mansion, her Servants following closely. Although she had visited a fair amount of times now, she was still surprised by how comfortable she was with entering the surrounding bounded field. Normally a magus' territory was more hostile to outsiders – but then again, this wasn't a normal magus' territory, and her status as an outsider was becoming more questionable too.

“Huh, it looks a lot more friendly in daylight.” Lancer remarked as she rang the doorbell. It was barely five thirty, but knowing Shirou he'd be up already.

He opened the door a few minutes later, wearing a worn down but clean black apron. He blinked two times and slammed it shut, through the glass Rin could see him look away. She was about to slam it open again but Lancer was ahead of her, violently shoving the door to the side before he had even fully materialised.

“Oi, is that any way to treat a girl?!” he yelled, causing Shirou to yelp and stumble backwards.

_What the hell does he think he's doing?_

_I don't know, Rin, maybe you should ask him yourself._

“W- Why is Lancer here!?” Shirou tripped over the shoes lying around and fell on his ass. He continued to scramble back as far as he could on all fours. “Tohsaka, why is Lancer here!?”

Rin opened her mouth to answer but got interrupted by Saber appearing in the hallway, who changed into her armour the moment she laid eyes on Lancer. Lancer himself, Rin noticed, was wearing that vile hawaii shirt again. Saber looked her in the eyes, almost begging for an explanation as Shirou got back on his feet and retreated further inside the house to hide behind his Servant.

“Everyone calm down!” Rin shouted with a face ready for murder. They all froze on the spot.

“First of all, Lancer is my Servant now. There's no threat from him so please take off your armour, Saber.” She obliged, although clearly reluctantly. Her gaze immediately fixed on the now visibly uncomfortable Lancer, who took a step back in Rin's direction.

“A lot of things happened last night, so I'm here to discuss the new situation. I assume you don't mind me joining you for breakfast?”

“Ah, well, no. No, that's not a problem.” Shirou reappeared from behind Saber, having collected himself somewhat again now that the topic had shifted to things he immediately understood. “I haven't started making breakfast yet though, so you might have to wait for a bit.”

“Oh, cool, can I join in?” Lancer asked.

Rin shot him a glare.

“What, I have a lot to explain so I might as well join breakfast right? Besides, there's no way I'll forgive myself if I end up eating nothing but canned beef in this era.”

“You've only had canned beef?” Shirou seemed equal parts surprised and disgusted at the mere concept.

“Well, yeah.”

Shirou put a hand on his chin and stared into the distance, deep in thought. He looked far too serious for such a mundane topic as breakfast – although during the few days they'd worked together it had become clear that food was unusually important to him.

“Alright, I might have to use some leftovers from yesterday's dinner but if that's ok with you I don't see a problem.”

“Shirou!” Rin had never seen Saber look so outright offended. She barely kept enough dignity to not pout. The upright strand of hair on her head trembled angrily.

“It's ok, like he says there's a lot to explain, and I'd feel bad if he had to sit at the table without food while the rest of us are eating.”

“Thanks kid, you're the best!” Lancer stepped into the hallway, undoubtedly to hug Shirou, but he stopped halfway once he met Saber's glare. He awkwardly lowered his spread arms.

“Very well, since you are my Master I will abide by your decision. However, I will not hesitate to strike him down should he decide to turn on us in any way.” She turned around and strode towards the living room, leaving the hall filled with people and somewhat uncomfortable silence.

“We'll be coming in now.”

“Right. Where's Archer by the way?”

_I'm busy laughing my ass off at this trainwreck._

“Keeping watch on the roof.”

“Right.”

The three of them followed Saber to the living room. Rin was used to the house by now, but Lancer was doing nothing to hide his excitement about what was probably a really strange house for him. He looked around eagerly and even ran his hand over the wall for a bit.

“By the way, good job on that sword trick the other night.” he said as they sat down at the table, him and Rin on one side and Saber on the other. “I happened to be around when you guys fought Caster and that was honestly the last thing I expected from you. Then again I didn't expect to have to try killing you twice in the same day or having Saber pop up right then either so I guess being surprised is to be expected with you.” His face turned serious for a moment. “Yo, no hard feelings about that right? That was just me doing what I was ordered to.”

Shirou's voice was somewhat muffled behind the kitchen wall and the sound of a dish breaking on the floor. “I suppose. I'm still alive so I guess there's no problem.”

Lancer nodded, content with that answer. “Also Saber, that was a great fight we had, and right after you got summoned too. If you don't mind it'd be cool to have a rematch sometime now that you've settled in and I'm not at half power anymore.”

“Perhaps.” Saber's voice was uncharacteristically cold, and Rin couldn't help but notice her glancing at the kitchen every other second.

“Saber?” she asked, leaning on the table with her chin on her folded hands.

“Yes?”

“Are you jealous that Lancer is getting the leftovers you wanted to eat yourself?”

She huffed and looked away, her face slightly more red than before. “Don't be ridiculous. I am simply suspicious of a Servant who-”

They heard another plate break. “Hey, I'll need some help setting the table.” Shirou interrupted them. Saber gave the kitchen another look, but the promise of food kept her silent.

“Right, anyway,” Rin began once they had all settled down again. “The short version of last night's events as I understand them is that Lancer somehow broke his contract with his previous Master, and then came to ask me to contract him instead – which I did.”

“Please explain why you decided to put your trust in a Servant whom you knew betrayed his previous Master.” Saber asked as seriously as she could between mouthfuls of rice. Rin was about to answer, but again Lancer was ahead of her.

“Oi, I never swore him loyalty in the first place. He's a fucking dick whose only hobbies seem to be breaking the rules he's supposed to uphold and humiliating me. Also, he's not my real Master. He killed the person I did swear loyalty to and stole her command seals, and it's only because he used one that I accepted him as my Master at all.” He crossed his arms to underline his statement and added a muttered _or didn't carve his heart out right away._

“And how can we be certain that this is the truth?” 

“You can't, that's the annoying thing about hearing things from others isn't it? I mean I could swear a geas but that's-”

“Actually, I would prefer if you did.” Saber handed her bowl to Shirou for seconds without breaking eye contact. She would look intimidating were it not for the grains of rice that got stuck to her mouth from her aggressive eating. Hearing Shirou drop a plate seemed to have put her on edge, but was she really that bitter about food?

Lancer laughed, more forcedly than when they were walking here. “Forget it, I'm not swearing two geas in the same 24 hours.”

Rin looked at him in shock. “Hold up,  _two?_ You didn't say anything about that!” 

“Yeah, because you told me to hold the explanations until we got here. Look, if you guys would just let me tell what happened without interrupting we'd actually get somewhere ok. I'm not asking you to trust me right away, I'm asking you to decide whether you want to trust me or not after I have my say. You all know my identity, right? Then you'll know exactly what my stance on breaking my word is. Feel free to beat me up if you're not satisfied after I'm done.”

“Well, he does have a point.” Shirou said as he gave Saber her refill. 

“Shirou!”

“It's not very fair to judge him before you heard the full story right?” Rin added with a gentle smile. 

“I. Suppose so.” Saber looked away again and raised her bowl to her face. “You may proceed.” 

“Right, so I got summoned by a magus of the association who was honestly the best thing I've ever seen the world create in my entire life. Damn. It was like two months before the war actually started and we had a pretty good time but then that asshole of a Kotomine Kirei showed up.”

“You mean the priest?”

“Do you know any other Kotomine Kirei involved with the Holy Grail War, kid? I didn't trust that fucker from the start but Baz apparently knew him and by the time I was going to slit his throat he'd already taken her command seals and there was nothing I could do. I found out later that he's supposed to be the overseer of the war too so that only pissed me off more, but because of that he has like a bazillion command seals that were left over from previous wars and he could just use one whenever I didn't do exactly what he wanted.”

“Then how did you break the contract?”

“Chill, I'm getting there. Anyway, he used a command seal to have me fight at half power and work as a scout so he could keep pulling strings and because of that I happened to be out when I saw you guys fighting Caster at the old gas station. I saw her pull some weird weapon on Saber and with a lil spell I could tell that it was made to cut magic bonds, so when she went back to the temple I followed and convinced her with a geas to cut the contract, and then she tried to pull some trick on me so I threw some runes in her face and ran for my life, and now I'm here.”

“So what is the condition of your geas?” Rin asked. If it was enough to convince Caster it had to be something extreme.

“In return for cutting my contract I'll drop dead on the spot if I try to attack her.” He stuffed a few side dishes in his mouth. “Also, this food is fucking amazing and I want to keep eating forever.”

“Wait, drop dead?”

“Right away. Instant heart failure probably.” He grabbed another few dishes as Shirou looked on with pride. “Maybe exploding organs or something too, I've actually never sworn a geas with a death penalty before so I have no idea what'll happen really. Maybe I'll have a few more seconds with Battle Continuation but that's it. Not the best condition to be under really but I was pretty damn desperate.”

“Try to attack or actually attack?”

“The exact wording was 'I will not attack her' so my Noble Phantasm might be able to work around that if she dies before I technically attack her but honestly I wouldn't try that except as an absolute last resort. Can I have another bowl?”

Shirou took the bowl from him and dutifully refilled it. Saber side eyed him but said nothing.

“So, what do you think? Am I trustworthy enough yet?”

“Shirooouuuuu!” a familiar and almost obnoxiously cheerful voice came from the direction of the front door. “I'm hoooome!”

Rin and Shirou instinctively locked eyes.

“Crap.”

“It seems Taiga is here.”

“I completely forgot about Fuji-nee...”

Taiga danced into the living room, stopping mid-spin to sniff the air. “Oh, you're having breakfast early. Is something happening?”

The two Masters and Servants nervously eyed each other. Rin could hear Archer snickering on the roof.

_This is_ _**not** _ _funny._

_Oh, you have no idea._

“Hey, you must be Taiga!” Lancer said, standing up to extend a hand. “I'm Lancer, one of Rin's cousins from Europe. I'm visiting for a few days, my plane arrived really early and she forgot to do groceries so Shirou was kind enough to make us breakfast today. Pleased to meet you!”

Taiga blinked at him a few times before slowly extending her hand too. Lancer took it and enthusiastically shook it up and down. The two of them sat down, Taiga still looked somewhat confused but at least she wasn't yelling like when Rin visited for the first time.

_Nice save._ She thought once he was back on his cushion.

_Thanks._ He replied, startling her a little. Seemed like she still wasn't used to having a telepathic bond with two Servants.

“So, Lancer, how are you enjoying Fuyuki so far?”

“Well I haven't seen much of it yet of course but it seems like a beautiful city. I get the feeling there's always something happening here you know?”

Taiga nodded over the rice bowl Shirou had handed her. “Yeah, I get what you mean. Ever since I was a kid there have always been all kinds of people here. Say, do you have any plans on what you want to visit? You absolutely have to visit the temple if you're here, especially if you're all the way from Europe. They don't have temples like this one in Europe!” She started chomping down her food more enthusiastically, at ease now that the mysterious stranger appeared to be harmless.

“Nah, I've seen enough temples for a while. I'm more interested in the city anyway, are there any good shops? What kind of attractions do you have? I've heard some things of course but it's different when you actually go.”

They drifted off into small talk about the city, Taiga eagerly told about the various places she loved and Lancer did a great job keeping her engaged. The two were a surprisingly good combo. Shirou used the opportunity to make tea and Rin had intended to just sit back and listen like Saber was doing, but somehow she found herself drawn into the conversation anyway and before she knew it she was listing off her high scores at the small game hall in the shopping center.

“No way! Noooo wayyy!” Taiga slammed her empty bowl on the table. “So you're the one who's been breaking all my old high scores? I can't believe this! Unbelievable! Show some respect for your teacher!”

“Hey now Fujimura-sensei, I couldn't possibly have known that they were your high scores. Besides, I'm simply striving to perform to the best of my abilities. Is that not something that you as a teacher would want to encourage?” 

_Fucking brutal._ Lancer told her.

_Thank you._

Taiga pouted and handed her bowl to Shirou for what must be her fifth refill by now. He dutifully obliged.

“Yo, but what about you Shirou? What do you like to do?” Lancer said. Rin realized that Shirou had barely said a thing ever since Taiga came home. Neither had Saber, though that might be because she was still bitter about the leftovers.

“Oh, I only really go to the modern district for work or if I need to buy something.”

“Come on, there's got to be something you like.”

“Well, there are some nice supermarkets here in the local shopping district that regularly offer great deals and-”

“That's not what I'm asking about.” Lancer interrupted him. “I'm asking what you like to do for fun.”

“Oh, that's-”

The most uncomfortable silence yet descended on the room. After what felt like hours, Rin pointed at the clock on the wall. “Fujimura-sensei, you'll be late if you stay any longer.”

“Right! It was nice talking to you Lancer, maybe I'll see you around again! Bye! Also you two, don't be late for class!” She jumped up and left even more energetically than she'd entered earlier that morning. 

“Ok, so where were we?” Lancer said once they heard the front door close. “Do you think I'm good to trust?” 

Saber finished her tea and gently placed the cup on the table. “I do. I am still suspicious that you would leave your Master, but if Taiga does not see you as a threat then neither will I.”

“Hm?” Rin looked up. “That's surprising, I didn't think you'd have that kind of faith in Fujimura-sensei.”

“She's a kind soul, and fiercely protective of Shirou. If she believes Lancer is not a threat then I will trust her judgement of character.”

“Thanks” Lancer grinned. “I'd hug you but people don't seem very fond of hugs in this era.”

Shirou glanced at the clock. “We should probably leave for school soon, if we're late now I'll never hear the end of it.”

“Good point. Lancer and I will do the dishes to make up for the trouble, alright?” Shirou opened his mouth to object, but the two of them had already stood up and were collecting plates. “Also, we're coming back here after school to discuss our course of action regarding Caster.” They headed to the kitchen, leaving Shirou without any room to disagree.

_You'll be going to school with me today._

_Nice._

_If you so much as think about showing yourself I will command seal your ass so hard you won't be able to sit down for a week._

Lancer grinned to himself as he loaded the plates into the sink.

_I might be into that you know?_

_Don't you dare._

 


End file.
